


Lost our love, she lost her land, don't lose the last place, we must stand.

by DisplacedWarrior



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Gen, What-If, implied Lucy Lane/Alex Danvers, pre-director sanvers, pure angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-10-01 05:26:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10181642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisplacedWarrior/pseuds/DisplacedWarrior
Summary: Kara tries and Kara fails and somewhere half-way across the universe Alex's hand is still pressed against the glass as her family is left in the aftermath.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Listen when I put out a call to the bering and wells fandom I didn't think I was going to end up writing something myself but after some hc jamming with nerdsbianhokie I realized I had the makings of a fic so I figured what the hell.
> 
> Also def check out [this thread](http://nerdsbianhokie.tumblr.com/tagged/Space-Pirate-Alex/) because Space Pirate Alex is my new fucking jam. Seriously it's incredible and I love every single word about it.
> 
> So since I am not so great with the plot and Space Pirate Alex is more incredible than I could ever imagine (seriously I'm reccing the hell out of the fic and hc go do yourself a favor and check 'em out), here have some angsty space fam feels instead.

Kara flies faster than she ever has trying to get ahead of the ship programmed to take her sister light years away from her.

She makes it but it isn't enough and she never does quite decide if that's worse than if she hadn't made it at all.

Kara tries.

She tries so hard, but the sensors identify Supergirl and the weapons systems glow an eerie green when they lock on target. It isn’t much, trace amounts of pure kryptonite CADMUS was able to hang onto and the rest an attempt at a synthetic.

It’s still Kryptonite.

Kara gets hit, feels the fatigue burning in her muscles, the pain she’s never quite grown accustomed to searing in her veins but it's _Alex_ in that ship.

Alex is on a ship about to ejected half-way across the universe.

Alex who believes in her.

Alex who has faith as she places her hand on the window and Kara mirrors her position, grits her teeth and—

It's working. The ship slows. The engines starting to blow one by one. They're almost in the clear when a whole new set of thrusters engage. The ship resumes it’s pace picking up speed but Kara can't stop trying. 

She won't. Not when Alex is...

But Alex realizes what's happening, knows it's too late and Kara not letting go of the ship is a death sentence.

Alex curls her fingers against the glass and pretends she can feel Kara's as they do the same. Alex takes a deep breath and tries to center her roiling emotions. She can survive a galaxy away as long as she knows Kara's alright.

Alex pounds on the glass and Kara's comm may be lost but Alex's phone isn't and back at the D.E.O. they all stand frozen listening in horror as Alex pleads, “Kara let go. You have to. It’s too late.”

“Kara, you’ll die”

“Kara, I love you.”

Kara keeps trying.

She’s already lost one family to the stars she won’t lose another.

It's seconds until light speed, until terminal velocity if Kara is still on the hull.

Alex remembers she’s on speaker but there’s no time for goodbyes. Her one regret is never actually _telling_ her cobbled together family what they mean to her.

Kara, you are _not_ alone.

J’onn, you _are_ family.

Vasquez, you’re my rock.

James, you were a hero before you put on that suit.

Lena, I trust you too.

Winn, you’re as much my brother as Kara’s my sister.

Lucy, you belong with us.

Maggie, _I love you._

“Winn I—Maggie— I’m _sorry_.” Alex doesn’t let her voice crack but they can _hear_ the anguish permeating every word.

Then Alex screams, primal and guttural and sudden, banging her fists hard enough on the glass that Kara startles just for a second.

Only for a second, but it's enough to dislodge her grasp and then the ship is gone.

And Kara is suspended midair holding on to nothing while her sister, her anchor just disappears. 

This time it's Kara who's screaming and she won't remember if her heat vision activated or if she tried to reach light speed herself in an attempt to chase after them but she solar flares, far above the clouds and plummets.

Meanwhile, the entire D.E.O is silent. Echoes of Alex’s screams haunt the control room. Several agents hang their heads, a few make the sign of the cross for their commanding officer.

Someone punches a wall.

Winn is rooted to the spot hardly breathing, and J’onn’s no-nonsense face is twisted in grief.

Maggie stands. Alex screamed and Maggie’s knees buckled but she remains rigid, upright, feet planted, fists clenched, knuckles white. Shaking her head because _no_.

Alex isn’t, she can’t be...

Maggie said _Ride_ or _Die_ but they’re both still alive and Maggie missed the fucking transport.

A sharp beeping breaks the weighty stillness of the room. Vasquez wipes the silent tear tracks from their face, voice ringing out strong and controlled and nothing like they feel.

“Supergirl is on a direct trajectory into the ocean. She’s is in free fall, Sir. North thirty-seven degrees—

J’onn is gone before Vasquez can finish the coordinates a med evac team right behind him.

The D.E.O fish Supergirl’s broken body out of the ocean. She's not conscious and if she hadn't lost her powers she might've just sunk to the bottom. They put her under the sun lamps but the damage is extensive and it'll take a while before she makes anywhere near a full recovery.

Five days later Kara still shows no signs of waking up. A distraught Maggie hasn't left her side, keeping vigil over Kara is the only thing holding her together. 

It's what Alex would have done. What Alex would’ve wanted and because Alex isn't fucking here Maggie does it for her.

Maggie absentmindedly strokes Kara’s hair, trying not to _think_ . She's a cop, she doesn’t _do_ being idle during a crisis and finding people is embedded in her very soul but how the fuck is 'some dumb local cop' supposed to get to someone across the fucking universe?

How is she supposed to get to Alex who is _across.the.fucking.universe?_

So she sits and she doesn’t think and she watches over Kara refusing to leave her side.

Winn is in the bed next to Kara, sedated before he could hurt himself after eighty straight hours of no sleep. Hours spent running equations and tearing apart alien tech trying to pinpoint the ship. Desperately searching for a way to get there because Kara has a fucking tamagotchi sized device that can rip through the multi-verse and he stepped through a frakkin' stargate to another planet. So how gorram hard can it be to build a portal to get to Alex....to get to _Lyra....._ across the galaxy.

He works for a non-existent government agency that conspiracy theorists would wet themselves over and has a world of advanced alien tech at his fingertips. So there _has_ to be a way.

There's no alternative because that is his girlfriend out there. Lyra who is more than just _okay_ . He regrets every single second of playing it cool, screw being nonchalant and screw it’s too soon. He doesn’t care that they just met each other he _loves_ that girl.

Lyra is _his_ girl and he is _hers_ and he should have just _told_ her.

The equations start melting into gibberish and all he wants to do is ask Alex for help but he can't because he's doing this to save her too. He just, he cannot lose any more family.

J'onn picks up his struggling body and carries him to the med bay as the exhaustion and despair wreak havoc on his body and Winn sobs calling out for his big sister.

In the corner of the lab Lena Luthor clutches the screwdriver in her hand so hard she's surprised the handle doesn't crack. 

This is her fault, her 'family' is responsible, her name.

These people who had started to grudgingly accept her, because Kara, dear sweet Kara who was also the symbol of good that is Supergirl trusted her, believed in her.

These people who took her in and were more like family even in their wariness born of protection than Lillian goddamn Luthor had ever been in Lena’s entire life were torn apart because of something a Luthor did, again.

Kara is still recovering slowly, too slowly and Lena can’t think about Kara, effervescent and unyieldingly positive Kara, nearly indestructible Kara shattered. Not if she intends to get Alex back before she wakes.

These people have lost a daughter, a sister, a lover, a friend. Alex is gone possibly out of reach forever but Lena _has_ to set this right. She doesn’t have the stomach for the alternative, maybe she isn’t much of a Luthor after all.  

Winn's cries echo in her ears and not just the most recent ones but also the ones that brought her here. 

Lena had almost breathed a sigh of relief when her phone lit up with Kara’s number after more than twenty-four hours of silence where Lena couldn’t reach her.

The respite is short-lived because it isn’t Kara on the other end of the line. It’s Winn desperate and pleading and barely making sense. His only thought, if Kara could trust Lena so completely then he would have to as well. The woman had proven herself over and over anyway and if anyone could match his genius it was her.

Besides if Lillian is responsible for the spaceship Lena might be more familiar with some of the tech components used to in building said frakkin’ spaceship.

Lena is halfway out the door not even bothering to tell Jess to reschedule her appointments, which unbeknownst to her is for the best. She shows up to the tall modern, building in the heart of National City, that she can see from her office balcony at L-Corp and can only chuckle darkly.

J’onn is less than pleased when she shows up at the D.E.O but senses nothing apart from a genuine desire to help and so so very much misplaced guilt. He allows her access and pushes off the paperwork that can wait for a less time sensitive moment.

Until they had something concrete, it’s not like Lena planned on leaving before then anyway.

That was four days ago and the progress they were making was too slow for any of their liking. J’onn returns after getting Winn settled and tells Lena she needs sleep as well. She puts up a token protest but J’onn leads her straight to the room Kara and Winn are in.

He goes to procure another bed but she stops him with a gentle hand on his shoulder. She instead pushes the one Winn is asleep on closer to Kara’s and just climbs in next to him, reaching out to hold Kara’s hand between the bars.

Lena curses the universe’s dark sense of humor because she feels like she gained a brother, truly gained a family and it’s only because they’ve lost a member of their own.

She falls asleep, mind running through endless calculations, hand still in Kara’s and Winn cuddled into her side vowing to get Alex back. She saved Lena’s life once and Lena _was_ going to return the favor.

Maggie looks on fondly and her heart cracks wishing Alex were beside her.

There’s a commotion in the command center that draws Maggie’s attention. She’s barely left this room since the moment Kara was brought in and usually wouldn’t bother to investigate but Lena and Winn are here even if they’re asleep and James is running Catco from where he's tucked into the opposite corner of the room in between Guardian's patrol rotations. So she decides to shake off the immobility and check it out.

She almost wishes she hadn’t.

She walks into the control room to find none other than Lucy Lane on the warpath. They haven’t met, not officially but she recognizes the woman immediately. She’s everything, everyone had ever described and more somehow and she’s currently _screaming_ at J’onn.

Leaving everyone stunned because Lucy Lane respects the chain of command. Lucy Lane is cool under pressure and doesn’t hesitate when making the tough calls. Lucy Lane looks danger in the eyes and never once falters. They have seen her bend impossible situations to her will but right now she is railing and all anyone can do is watch wide eyed as it all unfolds.

They watch as she punctuates her words with her fists against J’onn's chest while he stands firm only moving just enough with each blow so she won’t hurt herself. Absorbing each hit and barbed word because he already failed one daughter, he won’t fail anyone else.

“How could you suspend her without a fucking plan? She’s Alex fucking Danvers, of course she was going to go rogue. You let her waltz into CADMUS fucking alone! How could you let her go in there alone?”

Lucy’s voice breaks and at first Maggie thinks the sob is the other woman’s but it’s not it’s hers because Lucy is yelling at J’onn but Maggie’s the one who let her go alone.

Ride or Die but Maggie let her take the wheel solo and now—

Lucy spins around noticing Maggie for the first time and demands to know who she is. Maggie looks up through her tears and sees the thinly concealed desperation in Lucy’s eyes, the pain, the love, sees it all as if she’s looking in a mirror and Maggie breaks.

For the first time since Alex was declared MIA, the situation and the guilt and the fear crashing down on her.

She sinks to her knees and beats the floor, an unholy wail rising from her chest.

The agents divert their eyes and those who were present right before Alex’s phone went offline hear the ghost her screams mingling with Maggie's howls in a chilling harmony.

Maggie keens and Maggie mutters, over and over again that it’s all her fault.

J’onn takes a step towards her but she flinches, muscle memory from her biological father and Vasquez is by her side in an instant.

Vasquez wraps their arms around Maggie’s middle carting her out of the room. They bring Maggie to an empty training room letting her scream and cry and beat the shit out of a heavy bag and when Maggie collapses in exhaustion Vasquez carries her to Kara’s room and settles her in the bed Lena and Winn had vacated to continue working.

Maggie wakes up feeling like shit and J’onn is sitting next to Kara who’s been cycled back under the sunlamps. He nods to Maggie, handing over a bottle of water.

They sit in silence watching over Kara and Maggie tries to ignore the way her clothes are sticking to her and her eyelids feel heavy with more than just lack of sleep.

Maggie isn’t sure whether it’s a dad thing, a commanding officer thing or a mind-reading martian thing but soon after, J'onn offers up the D.E.O showers ‘if she’d like to freshen up.’

Maggie realizes it had been actual days since she left this room before her little breakdown and jumps at the chance scrub away the grimy feeling that had settled over her.

She hesitates, looking over at Kara but J’onn promises she won’t be left alone for even a minute. Maggie turns again to leave but pauses in the doorway when J’onn’s voice calls out to her.

“It wasn’t your fault detective.” She nods but believes it about as much as he isn’t blaming him himself.

Maggie showers and when she emerges feeling cleaner but no less shitty she finds a folded, freshly laundered DEO issue uniform in her size. Maggie shrugs on the pants but her fingers stall on the shirt.

She remembers the last morning before everything went to hell, tugging the zipper up on Alex’s own uniform as she whined about the hickeys Maggie left on her chest and the base of her neck dangerously close to her shirt's edge, the night before.

Maggie teased that she hadn't heard any complaints at the time and Alex retaliated by backing her into a wall and kissing her so throughouly that Maggie was left dazed for minutes after Alex strutted off to work. Only noticing the dark unmistakeable bruise Alex left prominently on her collarbone when her partner started to tease her mercilessly about it. 

Maggie places the shirt back on the bench and winds her way over to a familiar locker.

When she’s finished her feet take her back to Kara’s room only to find Lucy sitting with her hands clutching at Kara’s own.

Maggie hesitates at the door but squares her shoulders and walks over. Lucy looks up eyes sweeping over the detective, clocking the well-fitted pants before flitting up to her shirt that’s a little bit bigger than a deliberate fashion decision might indicate and a leather jacket that looks— Lucy squints, familiar.

It hits Lucy all at once that those are _Alex’s_ clothes and she has to swallow down the pain ragged in her throat.

Maggie sticks her hand out to Lucy, “We haven’t officially met. Maggie Sawyer NCPD, Science Division. I’m Alex’s—”

“Girlfriend.” Lucy finishes for her, “Lucy Lane, You’ve been mentioned. We missed each other a few times.” Lucy recalls a delayed flight(hers), an alien kidnapping case worked into overtime(Maggie's), and an emergency summons (hers again). “I only wish the introduction was under better circumstances. I came as soon as I heard.”

It’s a little awkward and Lucy wants to know exactly what the fuck happened with Alex going rogue because there’s no official report. Maggie hesitates, she knows most of the people in the D.E.O are trustworthy, that they have Alex’s back but she also knows that the walls have ears and you can never quite be sure who’s listening.

Vasquez shows up, true to form with their uncannily good timing and offers to sit with Kara, eyeing Maggie and Lucy pointedly.

Lucy jumps up and before Maggie can blink she finds herself being dragged out of the room while Lucy declares she knows just what they need.

She leads Maggie to Alex’s lab and Maggie finds her hackles raised moving from confused to suspicious in a heartbeat. She focuses on the wariness because the lab holds far too many precious memories that have the ability to break her again.

Lucy moves fluidly around the space rummaging and shuffling some things around. Maggie bites the inside of her cheek, tasting blood because this Alex’s space and it feels _wrong_ being here without her in it.

Lucy emerges with a bottle of scotch and Maggie raises and eyebrow but Lucy brushes it off.

“We used to share an office as co-directors back at the desert base. One of us always kept a bottle of something harder somewhere for ‘one of those days' and if this doesn’t qualify I sure as hell do _not_ want to find out what would.” Lucy says shaking her head ruefully. Maggie finds a wet laugh bubbling up at the understatement.

She follows Lucy over to the elevators, observing as she uses her clearance to take them to the roof. It’s far bigger than Maggie would have imagined and she takes in the helipad and is that some kind of futuristic fighter jet?  

She suppresses the urge to get closer and run her hands along the gorgeous machine following Lucy to the south edge away from the designated landing area and rows of aircraft.

Lucy settles on the edge letting her legs dangle miles above the city and propping her chin up on the safety railing, arms wrapped tight around her middle. Maggie drops down beside her, settling her legs underneath her body and tossing her arms over the middle bar and leaning forward.

She stares straight down at the street below high enough she can barely make out the people strolling along the sidewalk.

They sit in silence for awhile passing the bottle back and forth. Eventually, Maggie fills Lucy in on the events of the last few days and soon enough they’re just talking about _Alex_.

The crying about Alex follows shortly after and by the time the once near full bottle is empty they're laughing about Alex instead.

J’onn finds them hours later both passed out on top of each other still on the roof but at least nearer to the door than the ledge. He carries them back downstairs and it’s a testament to their exhaustion that neither wakes.

He settles them in the second bed beside Kara, she’s fallen back asleep so there’s no point in waking them up to inform them right this second that Kara came to.

Maggie shifts in her sleep gripping Lucy tightly, mumbling out a heartbreaking ‘Ally.’

Across the hallway he can see Winn and Lena purposefully pulling apart tech and furiously scribbling on a white board. Vasquez sits in the corner next to Kara diligently tapping away on a tablet and James has just returned from making yet another of Guardian's round in Supergirl's absence.

J'onn closes his eyes, red glow visible under his eyelids and searches for Alex’s mind.

There’s nothing but silence.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I think this is the first time I've ever written something completely angsty. 
> 
> I don't like it....I made myself sad....
> 
> Yes I butchered part of the Firefly theme song for my title.
> 
> Also I hc Vasquez as genderqueer so I used singular they/them pronouns for them if anyone was confused. 
> 
> I pretty much live here -[change-the-rules](http://change-the-rules.tumblr.com/)


End file.
